Divorce: Parenting Time – Mediation or Litigation?

You want to change the parenting time schedule. If you are going the litigation route, you have to petition the Court for an action or a decision. What does this mean? Your attorney has to file a motion with the Court asking for the relief you are seeking and you pay the Court a filing fee of $50.00. It also means that 24 days before the Court will hear the motion, you have to file your pleadings. The Court schedules motions every other Friday.

The pleadings include, at a minimum, the Notice of Motion wherein you set forth the relief you are requesting, one or more supporting Certifications/Affidavits, and the proposed Order. So clearly, you need to begin preparation of your pleadings well in advance of the filing date. If you take only two weeks to prepare your pleadings, it will be a total of six weeks minimum from the date you start preparation until the motion hearing date.

If the motion is on the papers, which means the Judge will make a decision based on the motion pleadings submitted, the Judge will execute an Order sometime after the motion date. If the motion is scheduled for oral argument, the Judge may render the decision on the date the motion is argued, or may reserve his/her decision, and send the executed Order at a later date. There is no timetable for execution of the Order.

If you are involved in mediation, or have provided in your divorce agreement that the parties will mediate all issues before going to Court, it may take only one session with you, your spouse/ex-spouse and the mediator to work out the parenting time issues. Once the issue is resolved, you and your spouse/ex-spouse can enter into a Consent Order which is submitted to the Court for the Judge’s signature.

Mediation or litigation – you make the choice.

Family Mediation: Planning for the Future

People believe that when they get married they will grow old with their spouse. Each partner will be there as they age together to take care of and support the other partner. Unfortunately, both divorce and death change that idyllic future.

If you are contemplating a divorce, are in the midst of a divorce or are divorced, you need to rethink the documents you have executed during your marriage appointing your spouse your proxy. If you never executed such documents, now is the time to decide who you will rely upon in the future to take care of your financial and medical decisions if the time comes that you are unable to do so.

The documents to which I am referring are your Power of Attorney for Banking and Property Management, Proxy Directive for Health Care Decisions, Living Will and HIPAA Release and Authorization.

The Power of Attorney for Banking and Property Management (POA) gives another person the authorization to make financial decisions on your behalf. In the POA you can set forth the exact parameters of the power you are giving your attorney-in-fact or you can give him/her the power to make all the decisions you yourself are able to make. You can also establish when the POA becomes effective and if your attorney-in-fact can execute his/her authority immediately or only upon a disability. You can also define disability.

The Proxy Directive for Health Decisions appoints your medical proxy and gives your proxy power to make medical decisions on your behalf when you are no longer able to communicate.

A Living Will is a guide to be used by your health care proxy in making those decisions. It sets forth the choices you would make for your own medical treatment in various medical situations. If you do not have a health care proxy, the Living Will acts a guide for your physicians.

A HIPAA Release and Authorization is a release to medical facilities and personnel to enable them to tell those family and friends listed in the authorization your medical condition. Without this document, medical personnel are forbidden to release any such information even to family.

People tend not to deal with these issues as they tend not to want to deal with their Last Will and Testament. It makes one think about end of life issues, which can be scary and painful. If you have difficulty dealing with these decisions, are concerned about discussing these issues with family members, are afraid of hurting your children’s feelings by choosing one over the other, family mediation may be the best solution. In family mediation, all family members meet with the mediator together and together work out the answers that will enable you to go forward with preparing these documents.

If your spouse has died, you face the same challenges as a divorced person in relation to these documents. Family mediation is available to assist you also.

For those of you who do not have children or family to fill the roles of proxies, I suggest reading Yale Hauptman’s blog, “Do You Have a Natural Support System?” at http://www.hauptmanlaw.com/new-jersey-long-term-care-planning/do-you-have-a-natural-support-system.

I am available to assist you as a family mediator and look forward to hearing from you.

Divorce Mediation: New Year’s Resolution

This is the time of year when we are encouraged to do a self-inventory.  Based  on the inventory, we make one or two resolutions which we hope will carry us into the New Year with a renewed determination to make our lives happier and healthier.

If you are already in the midst of a divorce and experiencing the tension of the litigation process and its unhealthy side effects on your life, your New Year’s resolution may be to explore the divorce mediation option.

If your self analysis has brought you to the conclusion that divorce is your only option in your current relationship, your New Year’s resolution can also be to explore the divorce mediation option.

If you and your spouse are still on speaking terms, you are good candidates for divorce mediation. If you and your spouse have mutually decided to obtain a divorce, which indicates that you and your spouse are speaking to each other and have already reached your first agreement, you are excellent candidates for divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation usually begins with one or both parties telephoning the mediator and scheduling a consultation which both spouses attend together. At the consultation the mediator explains the mediation process and answers any questions you and your spouse have about the process. The mediator is a trained professional who facilitates the discussion between you and your spouse in regard to all the issues that should be resolved in order to reach a legal resolution, an end, to your marriage. The basic areas which will be discussed in mediation include custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support, division of assets and division of debts. Mediation sessions vary in length, but are not usually longer than two hours. The number of sessions required to reach an agreement depends on the parties and the individual facts of each marriage.

If you are already in the litigation process, mediation can focus on those issues which you have been unable to resolve at the time you consult the mediator. Even though both parties are represented by counsel, the attorneys are not required to attend the mediation sessions. Mediation is a confidential process so no disclosures made solely during mediation can be offered as evidence in court.

If you have made a New Year’s resolution to explore divorce mediation, please call me to schedule a free half hour consultation for you and your spouse. A mediated divorce will result in a healthier and happier 2014.