Signs Your Aging Parent May Need Assistance at Home

As holiday season approaches we are looking forward to family gatherings.  Use this special time with family to check on the current home environment for your aging loved ones.  Please click on the link below to an article that will help you evaluate if additional care and assistance is needed, https://www.caring.com/articles/signs-need-home-care.

If you need assistance with elder care planning or you and your siblings cannot agree on a plan, please let me help you.  Call my office to schedule a free half hour consultation.

 

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Mother’s Day

Many of us this Mother’s Day are taking care of our Moms rather than having them take care of us.  The circle of life.

I share the following blog with you which brought tears to my eyes.

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/for-mothers-day/

If you need assistance with making elder care decisions for your Mom, let me help.

 

National Healthcare Decisions Day

April 16 is National Healthcare Decisions Day.  This day is a reminder of the importance for each of us to articulate our medical wishes now in case we can’t speak for ourselves later and to share them with those who matter. It is also a reminder to call our parents, older loved ones and friends and discuss with them how important it is for them to let others know of their medical wishes.

Use April 16th as a day to think about your own healthcare decisions and update your advance directive/living will if needed.  If you don’t have a proxy for healthcare and a living will, use this day to think about those documents and contact an attorney to begin the process of preparing them.

If discussion of these issues is uncomfortable to have with your parents and siblings, call me to schedule a family mediation so that all interested family members can participate in the discussion in a non-threatening and confidential environment.

 

 

Family Mediation To Plan For Your Parents’ Long Term Care

When we are young, our parents take care of us.  As our parents age, they may need us to take care of them.  It may be very difficult for our parents to have that discussion with us.  They don’t want to impose.  They are not accustomed to discussing their financial situation with us, their children.  No one in the family may be comfortable raising the issue of long term care and end of life decisions.

“What is most difficult, I think, are the situations in which family members cannot agree with one another and they argue about everything from course of treatment to choices that may impact their loved one’s comfort. It happens more often than you would think and, perhaps, more often than it should.”  http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/family-times/ Family Times, by Carol Silver Elliott, President and CEO of The Jewish Home Family.

As a mediator I bring family members together in a safe and confidential environment to facilitate the discussion of these issues.  Please contact me if you need help.

 

Human Trafficking Awareness Day 2018

Be aware of what your children are doing. Know who their friends are. Human traffickers make friends with their victims at shopping malls. Human traffickers prey on vulnerable children. Children of parents who are going through a divorce are especially vulnerable.

Don’t shrug this warning off saying it can’t happen to my daughter or my son. Unfortunately it does happen and you may not even know it.

For more information click here.

Being Kind

I just read a blog written by Carol Silver Elliott, President and CEO of the Jewish Home Family and wanted to share it with you.  To Be Kind, http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/to-be-kind/

Mediation of Parenting Time: Halloween

Halloween is only a week away. It is a great time for children and parents to bond. You and your children can spend time planning and/or making the holiday costumes. Together you can plot out the “best” route for “Trick or Treating”. In advance of knocking on doors you can discuss whether instead of, or in addition to, getting candy, the children will ask for donations to their favorite charity. This can lead to discussions about charity and making it an integral part of your child’s life.

Don’t let this special time with your children be disrupted by fights over who will accompany the children when they go trick or treating. If you can’t work it out, reach out to a mediator who can assist you to resolve this issue to the satisfaction of both of you and give you and your children a wonderful holiday experience.

Don’t hesitate to contact me if I can help you.

Children and Divorce: Who Makes the Medical Decisions?

Parents anticipating a divorce or in the midst of a divorce focus on issues of child support, custody, parenting time and education of their children. Emancipation is looked at in terms of whether or not child support will be continuing and if parents will be paying college tuition and expenses.

It is rare that attention is also focused on the fact that once a child turns 18 the parent is no longer able to make healthcare decisions for the child without the child’s written authorization. What does this mean?

As each child celebrates his/her 18th birthday, the child should include in the planning of the celebration the execution of a healthcare Power of Attorney known as a healthcare Proxy. If a child is 18 or older and is injured in a car accident after a prom or a graduation celebration, parents may encounter problems in the medical community making decisions for their child since their child is now considered an adult. Without HIPAA authorization (the medical privacy act), which should be part of the Healthcare Proxy, medical personnel are not allowed to share medical information with anyone other than the patient. The parent appointed by the child as the child’s Proxy for Healthcare will be able to make the medical decisions necessary for that child without having to contend with legal barriers.

I suggest you discuss this issue with your mediator and then with your child. The discussion with your child may be uncomfortable because parents do not want to contemplate that their child will be in a critical medical situation which requires the parents to make life and death decisions for their child and the child thinks he/she is invulnerable and doesn’t have to think about being injured or sick.

Please take this issue to heart and call me if I can be of assistance to you.

National Healthcare Decisions Week (April 16-22)

One of the important decisions that people getting divorced have to make, and often overlook, is deciding who will be their healthcare proxy after the divorce.  If you already have a health care proxy, you probably named your spouse.  Do you still want your spouse to make your health care decisions for you once you are divorced, or even while you are going through a divorce?  If you do not have a health care proxy, now is the time to name someone to fill that very important role.

“Did you know:

  • Health care agents make medical decisions for about half of the adults over 65 who are hospitalized.
  • In more than half of the instances where an agent must act, the agent is making decisions about life-sustaining treatments.
  • In about a quarter of cases, the health care agent is making all medical decisions for the patient.”

See http://www.aaepa.com/2017/04/health-care-agents-matter-may-think/

This is an issue you can discuss with your mediator or with an estate planning attorney.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need assistance in this area.

Human Trafficking Awareness Day, January 11, 2017. Be Aware – Protect Your Children.

Human traffickers prey on the vulnerable. Children whose parents are going through a divorce are vulnerable.

What is human trafficking? It is when someone knowingly holds, entices, harbors, transports, provides or obtains by any means another person to engage in sexual activity or to provide labor or services.

• It is estimated that 1 million children are exploited by the global commercial sex trade every year. (U.S. Department of State, The Facts About Child Sex Tourism: 2005)

• 244,000 American children and youth were estimated to be at risk of child sexual exploitation, including commercial sex exploitation, in 2000. (Estes, Richard J. and Neil A. Weiner. The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work: 2001. Study funded by the Department of Justice. )

• 12 – 14 years is the average age of entry into prostitution. (Estes, Richard J. and Neil A. Weiner. The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work: 2001.)

• It is estimated that there will be 25,000 human trafficking crimes during the months surrounding the Super Bowl (from Valerie Huttle, NJ Assemblywoman 6/14/13 conference).

This is so important it bears repeating – children that are susceptible to human trafficking are children who are vulnerable. Children whose parents are going through a divorce are especially vulnerable. Traffickers entice their victims with promises of family and love. Children who perceive that their family life is coming apart at the seams, who believe that their parents’ divorce is their fault or believe that one parent no longer loves them, can be prime targets.

The traffickers recruit the children through a number of means including social media chat rooms, hanging out at malls and even through other family members and friends. If your child suddenly has an older “new best friend” or “boyfriend”, check it out. You can log on to www.njhumantrafficking.gov for additional information on the signs someone is a victim of human trafficking or call the New Jersey Human Trafficking Hotline if you believe your child or anyone else you know is a victim. The toll free telephone number is 1-855-363-6548.